urban dog
08-29-2007, 03:46 AM
FLASH
Down the street lives an Aussie named Flash
Who like lightning would go raid the trash.
But she gained so much weight
From the garbage she ate
She became quite self-conscious, abash.
In the dog shows they called her a laggard.
She could not even run. She felt haggard.
She was so oversized
She was quite criticized,
And at times the poor dog even staggered.
When she tried to leap over a jump
She could barely get off of her rump.
She was no longer agile.
Her mood was now fragile.
In gloom her poor spirit did slump.
Then one day she found the trash hid
In a can with a tight-fitting lid.
Though Flash sure did try,
She just couldn’t pry
The lid off the can she made skid
Across the whole floor of the room.
(It even knocked over the broom.)
She started to whine,
Which was not a good sign,
But her mistress thought, Go on and fume!
I know what you’re going through’s rough,
But you’re not eating garbage, so tough!
You’re gonna lose weight
So you’ll feel and look great,
And I’m sure you’ll calm down soon enough.
Turns out the dog’s mistress was right:
Though Flash didn’t get slim overnight,
She began to feel spryer,
Jumped higher and higher,
And soon felt as light as a kite!
Then one day she swallowed a stone—
A lodestone that looked like a bone.
Did it make the dog sick?
No! The thing made her quick—
A quickness hitherto unknown.
With her mistress next day in the sun
She began a good four-mile run.
Then like a gun shot,
Flash sprinted. Great Scott!
And in four minute’s flat she was done!
What I’m trying to tell you in rhyme
Is the Aussie made very good time.
Four miles she ran
In a four-minute span!
What’s more, the dog stopped on a dime.
Next day the dog actually flew
In the sky (which was cloudless and blue).
The owner, amazed,
At her Aussie just gazed
Till Flash finally vanished from view.
They’d been playing an ordinary game.
Fetching Frisbees was Flash’s main aim.
The Frisbee sailed high.
Flash leaped toward the sky,
And kept rising like smoke from a flame!
She had caught the white Frisbee all right,
Yet it seemed she would never alight.
(Will Flash ever land
On grass or on sand?
Has a dog ever taken to flight?)
It appeared she would fly to the moon
In the light of that late afternoon.
She had reached such a height
That a lady, from fright,
Looking up at the Aussie, did swoon!
Flash’s mistress thought, This is a dream.
When she pinched herself, it sure did seem
She was still wide awake.
Then she felt her heart break,
And big tears from her brown eyes did stream …
For just like a great bird of prey,
Her dog, in a flash, flew away.
Flash did not understand,
But the feeling was grand!
Folks will always remember the day
When she leaped for that Frisbee and soared,
And continued to rise and rise toward
The heavens. By God!
It was certainly odd.
A man watching thought, Never, my Lord,
Have I seen a dog jump into space!
Of the dog there was not any trace.
“Superdog!” the man yelled.
“That dog’s unparalleled!”
Ten days later she landed with grace.
Flash held in her jaws a moon rock.
At the sight of it people did gawk.
’Twas shiny but dark.
Flash let out a bark.
The thing dropped and then shattered like chalk.
Flash’s picture was now in the news.
Folks begged her to do interviews.
People gave her dog treats.
She met other athletes.
(And her mistress made large revenues!)
Flash, who’s now super athletic,
No longer looks rueful, pathetic.
And not long ago
She won Best in Show.
A celebrity, Flash is MAGNETIC!
(Last August an astronaut found
On the moon, in the dirt, near a mound,
A white plastic disk.
When the moonman did whisk
The thing up, he saw tooth marks! Profound!)
From There’s a Dog in the Heavens! (A Universe of Canine Verse)
by Martin Elster, Hats Off Books, ISBN: 1-58736-153-1
http://www.amazon.com/Theres-Dog-Heavens-Martin-Elster/dp/1587361531/ref=sr_1_1/002-8004599-8986429?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188407244&sr=1-1
http://www.ecampus.com/book/1587361531
http://www.wheatmark.com/merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=BS&Product_Code=1587361531
Copyright © 2003, 2005 by Martin Elster.
All Rights Reserved.
Down the street lives an Aussie named Flash
Who like lightning would go raid the trash.
But she gained so much weight
From the garbage she ate
She became quite self-conscious, abash.
In the dog shows they called her a laggard.
She could not even run. She felt haggard.
She was so oversized
She was quite criticized,
And at times the poor dog even staggered.
When she tried to leap over a jump
She could barely get off of her rump.
She was no longer agile.
Her mood was now fragile.
In gloom her poor spirit did slump.
Then one day she found the trash hid
In a can with a tight-fitting lid.
Though Flash sure did try,
She just couldn’t pry
The lid off the can she made skid
Across the whole floor of the room.
(It even knocked over the broom.)
She started to whine,
Which was not a good sign,
But her mistress thought, Go on and fume!
I know what you’re going through’s rough,
But you’re not eating garbage, so tough!
You’re gonna lose weight
So you’ll feel and look great,
And I’m sure you’ll calm down soon enough.
Turns out the dog’s mistress was right:
Though Flash didn’t get slim overnight,
She began to feel spryer,
Jumped higher and higher,
And soon felt as light as a kite!
Then one day she swallowed a stone—
A lodestone that looked like a bone.
Did it make the dog sick?
No! The thing made her quick—
A quickness hitherto unknown.
With her mistress next day in the sun
She began a good four-mile run.
Then like a gun shot,
Flash sprinted. Great Scott!
And in four minute’s flat she was done!
What I’m trying to tell you in rhyme
Is the Aussie made very good time.
Four miles she ran
In a four-minute span!
What’s more, the dog stopped on a dime.
Next day the dog actually flew
In the sky (which was cloudless and blue).
The owner, amazed,
At her Aussie just gazed
Till Flash finally vanished from view.
They’d been playing an ordinary game.
Fetching Frisbees was Flash’s main aim.
The Frisbee sailed high.
Flash leaped toward the sky,
And kept rising like smoke from a flame!
She had caught the white Frisbee all right,
Yet it seemed she would never alight.
(Will Flash ever land
On grass or on sand?
Has a dog ever taken to flight?)
It appeared she would fly to the moon
In the light of that late afternoon.
She had reached such a height
That a lady, from fright,
Looking up at the Aussie, did swoon!
Flash’s mistress thought, This is a dream.
When she pinched herself, it sure did seem
She was still wide awake.
Then she felt her heart break,
And big tears from her brown eyes did stream …
For just like a great bird of prey,
Her dog, in a flash, flew away.
Flash did not understand,
But the feeling was grand!
Folks will always remember the day
When she leaped for that Frisbee and soared,
And continued to rise and rise toward
The heavens. By God!
It was certainly odd.
A man watching thought, Never, my Lord,
Have I seen a dog jump into space!
Of the dog there was not any trace.
“Superdog!” the man yelled.
“That dog’s unparalleled!”
Ten days later she landed with grace.
Flash held in her jaws a moon rock.
At the sight of it people did gawk.
’Twas shiny but dark.
Flash let out a bark.
The thing dropped and then shattered like chalk.
Flash’s picture was now in the news.
Folks begged her to do interviews.
People gave her dog treats.
She met other athletes.
(And her mistress made large revenues!)
Flash, who’s now super athletic,
No longer looks rueful, pathetic.
And not long ago
She won Best in Show.
A celebrity, Flash is MAGNETIC!
(Last August an astronaut found
On the moon, in the dirt, near a mound,
A white plastic disk.
When the moonman did whisk
The thing up, he saw tooth marks! Profound!)
From There’s a Dog in the Heavens! (A Universe of Canine Verse)
by Martin Elster, Hats Off Books, ISBN: 1-58736-153-1
http://www.amazon.com/Theres-Dog-Heavens-Martin-Elster/dp/1587361531/ref=sr_1_1/002-8004599-8986429?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1188407244&sr=1-1
http://www.ecampus.com/book/1587361531
http://www.wheatmark.com/merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=BS&Product_Code=1587361531
Copyright © 2003, 2005 by Martin Elster.
All Rights Reserved.