urban dog
08-25-2007, 01:46 AM
MY PLIGHT AS A PROTON
Now, I’m a proton. Not too long ago
My neutron friend was way too neutral when
I said to her, “I want to be a pro
At Ping-Pong.” But that neutron didn’t care
What the ambitions of a proton were.
“The periodic Ping-Pong table, sir,”
The neutron said, “is neither here nor there.”
I countered, saying, “Yes, but I’ve a yen
For that fine sport, and really wish to show
The universe I have a talent, too.”
And then, fast as a photon, I shot out
Of my atom like a Ping-Pong ball and knew
That life would now be different. All about
I searched for a Ping-Pong partner, but alas
I never found one, though there were a myriad
Particles. I traveled to New York,
Chicago, Boston — city after city,
To no avail. It truly was a pity!
I didn’t know the universe was altered.
I stopped to ask a quark what I should do.
“My galaxy!” said she, “You’re such a dork!
Can you not see the cosmos has expanded
To the point where there’s no useful information
Any longer?” Well! That was a revelation!
I knew right then that I was truly stranded
On an island in a sea of nothingness.
I felt like a fish flailing round on a sheet of grass.
I tried my very best to quell, suppress
The tears that were about to flow. I faltered
And stumbled in my steps. I was a period
On an ocean of blank paper. “What’s the matter?
Now what is the dark matter? You dense thing!”
A meson spoke. “You sure are in a mess!”
I looked on every side, but knew the voice
Was just a figment of my thoughts. No Ping-
Pong anywhere! It couldn’t have been sadder!
I decided that I really had no choice
But to go back to my atom. The great gravity
Of the situation felt like a huge weight
On my microscopic back. But that was fate!
If I were troubled by a giant cavity
In a tooth, it would not have felt half as bleak!
What’s more, no matter how I tried to seek
My former atom, I could not locate it —
For while I was gone a black hole came and ate it.
Copyright © 2007 by Martin Elster.
All Rights Reserved.
Now, I’m a proton. Not too long ago
My neutron friend was way too neutral when
I said to her, “I want to be a pro
At Ping-Pong.” But that neutron didn’t care
What the ambitions of a proton were.
“The periodic Ping-Pong table, sir,”
The neutron said, “is neither here nor there.”
I countered, saying, “Yes, but I’ve a yen
For that fine sport, and really wish to show
The universe I have a talent, too.”
And then, fast as a photon, I shot out
Of my atom like a Ping-Pong ball and knew
That life would now be different. All about
I searched for a Ping-Pong partner, but alas
I never found one, though there were a myriad
Particles. I traveled to New York,
Chicago, Boston — city after city,
To no avail. It truly was a pity!
I didn’t know the universe was altered.
I stopped to ask a quark what I should do.
“My galaxy!” said she, “You’re such a dork!
Can you not see the cosmos has expanded
To the point where there’s no useful information
Any longer?” Well! That was a revelation!
I knew right then that I was truly stranded
On an island in a sea of nothingness.
I felt like a fish flailing round on a sheet of grass.
I tried my very best to quell, suppress
The tears that were about to flow. I faltered
And stumbled in my steps. I was a period
On an ocean of blank paper. “What’s the matter?
Now what is the dark matter? You dense thing!”
A meson spoke. “You sure are in a mess!”
I looked on every side, but knew the voice
Was just a figment of my thoughts. No Ping-
Pong anywhere! It couldn’t have been sadder!
I decided that I really had no choice
But to go back to my atom. The great gravity
Of the situation felt like a huge weight
On my microscopic back. But that was fate!
If I were troubled by a giant cavity
In a tooth, it would not have felt half as bleak!
What’s more, no matter how I tried to seek
My former atom, I could not locate it —
For while I was gone a black hole came and ate it.
Copyright © 2007 by Martin Elster.
All Rights Reserved.