Tragedy in Wallingford

[Carolyn]

Excessive speed was a factor in a crash Sunday night that killed two teenagers and left another hospitalized, according to Wallingford police.

George McClean, 16, of Wallingford, was driving a 2003 Nissan 350Z south on Williams Road at approximately 10 p.m. and lost control of the vehicle in the area of Carter Trail. The vehicle crossed the centerline and rolled over into a tree.

McClean and front seat passenger Tyler Priore, 15, of Wallingford, were killed instantly.

McClean was a student at Xavier High School in Middletown. Priore attended Notre Dame High School in West Haven.

The surviving passenger, David Cajas, 15, of Wallingford, is listed in stable condition at Yale-New Haven Hospital. He is a student at Xavier High School.

Connecticut law places driving restrictions (<a href="http://www.ct.gov/dmv/cwp/view.asp?a=805&Q=260218&dmvPNavCtr=|#40795" target="_blank">) on new 16- and 17-year-old drivers. For the first three months after obtaining a driver's license, 16- and 17-year-old drivers may only transport parents or legal guardians or passengers 20 years of age or older who have held a license for 4 years.

For the second three months after obtaining a driver's license, the only additional passengers allowed are members of the teenage driver's immediate family.

The status of McClean's driver's license is not known at this point.

Earlier this month, the Governor's Teen Driving Task Force recommended both short- and long-term legislation (<a href="http://www.ct.gov/teendriving/cwp/view.asp?Q=403996&A=3285" target="_blank">) to strengthen teen driving laws.

[wallingfordnative]

This is a parent's worst nightmare.

When your son or daughter obtains their junior operator license (and a car or the privilege to drive your car), you need to constantly remind them of the restrictions and responsiblity to drive within the speed limit.

Massachusetts has similar restrictions and if a junior operator is speeding, they lose their license and pay a fine. This law went into effect recently after several collisions killed teenagers in Dudley, Leicester, Southboro, Shrewsbury, Charlton, and Southbridge, MA.

It doesn't matter whether your child is an honors student in a rush to arrive before a curfew, or an average student out having fun. Speed kills. Please remind your children/grandchildren of this every day and demonstrate appropriate driving yourself.

I'm very sad to read of the deaths of these teens. My deepest sympathy to their parents, siblings, and friends.

[Modica]

Every day I drive and I have noticed more dangerous driving than ever. People speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, driving too close to the person in front of them all causes many accidents. It isn't just drunk drivers who cause so many accidents. There should be more police watching for these dangerous drivers or more parents will lose their children.

[jma]

Why put the responsibilty on the police? While I agree that this is a tragedy, I can't help but wonder why a 16-yr-old kid needed a Nissan 350Z! This car screams speed, and is a poor choice for a teen.

[eds]

Teens should buy their own car and pay their own insurance. And the parents should not be afraid to take it away from them. Under 18, and you can't own personal property. The parents own everything and if they can't control their kid, maybe they should be held responsible. As much a proponent of personal responsibility as I am, I believe parents are personally responsible for their children. Children should be held accountable as well, but the hurt needs to be applied to the parents in cases like this.

Police should step up enforcement, however, they can't be everywhere at all times. The 16 yr old with the sports car was probably the stereotypical parental attachment with no upbringing. Parents have children like they are faddish accessories. Something to obtain, like a house, a car, and a trust fund. These parents are in ignorant bliss that their child is perfect. If the child weren't perfect, what would that say about the parents? The parents would never admit to being lousy parents for that would shame them and their good name. I am familiar with that level and at that level, that is how parents think. They have no clue what their children do, think or say.

[phunkyb]

Why put the responsibilty on the police? While I agree that this is a tragedy, I can't help but wonder why a 16-yr-old kid needed a Nissan 350Z! This car screams speed, and is a poor choice for a teen.


My cousin is George McLean. This was his father's car that he borrowed. Haven't you ever borrowed your parents car, whatever style it was? He had no idea this would happen.:(

[phunkyb]

Teens should buy their own car and pay their own insurance. And the parents should not be afraid to take it away from them. Under 18, and you can't own personal property. The parents own everything and if they can't control their kid, maybe they should be held responsible. As much a proponent of personal responsibility as I am, I believe parents are personally responsible for their children. Children should be held accountable as well, but the hurt needs to be applied to the parents in cases like this.

Police should step up enforcement, however, they can't be everywhere at all times. The 16 yr old with the sports car was probably the stereotypical parental attachment with no upbringing. Parents have children like they are faddish accessories. Something to obtain, like a house, a car, and a trust fund. These parents are in ignorant bliss that their child is perfect. If the child weren't perfect, what would that say about the parents? The parents would never admit to being lousy parents for that would shame them and their good name. I am familiar with that level and at that level, that is how parents think. They have no clue what their children do, think or say.

You should not stereotype people, as you have done above. Every situation is unique. George's parents are the best parents any child could ever have. They were and are thoroughly involved in everything their children do. A parent has no control over what happens when the child leaves there sight. They can only instill good values and morales, and George had all of these. We don't know what happened that night and we can't assume we understand.

[bike man]

You should not stereotype people, as you have done above. Every situation is unique. George's parents are the best parents any child could ever have. They were and are thoroughly involved in everything their children do. A parent has no control over what happens when the child leaves there sight. They can only instill good values and morales, and George had all of these. We don't know what happened that night and we can't assume we understand.

I don't know these people and if you say they are good parents I am willing to take your word for it.

However I have to think that any parent letting a 16 year drive a sports car by himself is lax in their judgment. I may be wrong but I was under the impression that a driver of that age had to have an adult in the car.

[eds]

I am sorry for the loss of your cousin.

I said I was stereotyping and I meant what I said because the stereotype in this case has not been shown otherwise. The adults in these kids lives were not present to prevent this from happening. I know that is harsh to say, but sometimes that's the only way to show the serious nature of this situation. Its a hard situation but too many times we sit back and say nothing for fear of upsetting people who have now just encountered so much grief. It has to be said.

I know there is only so much a parent can do to teach their child to make the right choices in life. But we needn't encourage poor choices. If that is what one wants to do as a parent, encourage poor choices, then fine. That is ones choice as a parent. However the consequences of that decision will haunt these parents forever and I am sure that is not what they wanted by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately, and I say this sincerely, sometimes in life, you don't get a second chance. Somethings are permanent. These parents are I am sure, are aware of this. I don't want this to ever happen and that is why I am being as firm as I am with this.

The best parents any child could ever have? That makes this all the more painful. I am sure they were great parents up to the point of allowing this car to come into the hands of a child. How did this child get the keys? The parents did not think if they let him borrow the car that this would happen. That's it. They didn't think. It is unfortunate, that one mistake can cost these parents so much. I really don't care whose car it is, any car, sports car or not, is a dangerous weapon not to be treated as lightly as it was taken here. That is the tragedy. That one mistake can cost so much. You don't leave a loaded firearm on the table for anyone to just pickup. That's what happened here. The car was easily taken with the parents blessing if the borrow part was true.

And I am sure that these parents are good people who never meant for any of this to happen. I am not saying it was only the parents fault. They are responsible for allowing that car, any in fact, any car in the hands of a new driver without adult supervision at all times and in all conditions, regardless of the law, if any, that may or may not have applied in this case. Why were two kids out and about driving as they were? It would be like handing a loaded gun to an infant.

As for other children who are driving today and why the law should be changed, you don't let a 16 year old kid, even an honor roll, boy scout, saint of child, drive without supervision until they have proven they are safe and responsible with driving. They may be responsible in other areas of their lives, but this is the big time, prime time responsibility that needs to be shown first. I doubt this kid proved anything in his ability to drive or be responsible with a car in the limited time he had his license. And I reiterate that parents do not know their children as well as they think they do.

Just like a baby needs supervision as it grows up, so do children behind the wheel of a car. He was a child. And so was his passenger. And now they are both dead with a third in a world of hurt. If the driver was in compliance with the law, fine. Then in that case, the law should be changed to make the limit 18 years old not the first three or six months.

These accidents always happens to the kid who is great, has perfect grades, wonderful parents, and good a future ahead of him. When are we going to realize these young people are still kids, still children, that need guidance and supervision until age 18 and even beyond. We as a community have let down our children, to put them in this situation when they really should not be. The law says they are adults at 18, but even in the military they are supervised, guided. A different kind of guidance but guidance nonetheless. And you start out E-1 private until you prove otherwise. They don't hand you the keys to the tank until you prove you can handle it.

This is a total tragedy and unfortunately this has happened before, which is why it can be stereotyped so well. There are still two road side graves near the top of West Main near Hubbard Park and one in the Tracy section of Wallingford marking other similar tragedies with similarly young people. I see too many of these markers and yet no one stands up to say, "This is enough". This has to end now.

[wallingfordnative]

As it turns out, George was a relative of my cousins. I never met him so I can't comment much except to say, Phunkyb, my sincere condolences for your loss.

The photo in today's paper indicates they were driving much too fast. And, since he was still under the junior operator law, his parents should have insisted he could not drive any friends unless one of them was in the front seat. Unfortunately, even if they had that conversation with him in the past, it's too late now.

There are a lot of questions that are unanswered, but the sad fact is, 2 of these young teens are gone.

[DirtyDan]

I've live on Williams Rd., at the "Bump" and have seen every type of vehicle get airborn. I've seen people go back and forth a few times testing the limits of the "Bump", Motorcycles pulling wheelies, SUV's with kids in strapped in the back and occasionally someone will scream while in mid flight, like some kind of amusument park roller coaster. And it's not only kids that do this. I've even stopped or slowed people speeding down the road. As I type, there are about 10 kids at the site and I can still hear cars wizzing by. I don't know what it's gonna take to get people to slow down on Williams Rd., I just pray I don't have to witness what I saw Sunday night ever again.

[Eastside Bill]

This a truly tragic event. However, I also couldn't help but wonder why a 16 year old was driving such a vehicle and why he was driving two fifteen year old boys around? If he was only 16, he could not have had his license that long. May other parents of teenagers pay attention to this tragedy and think twice about allowing their children to tool around in a sports car they simply don't have the maturity or skill to handle.

[Surge]

I am another cousin of George McLean. And, I have to admit, jumping to conclusions is easy to do. But, if you knew his parents, as I do, jumping to conclusions about his parents would not be a discussion. Here's an idea, a suggestion even: How about people use this posting forum to express condolense and sympathty, especially while our family, the Priore family, and Cajas family is grieving. Why? Well, because that would make you decent, number one. And 2, we all could use it. Please don't beat on George's parents, or in this case, my Aunt and Uncle. By the way, George's sister is grieving, too.

[Lee Boi]

This a truly tragic event. However, I also couldn't help but wonder why a 16 year old was driving such a vehicle and why he was driving two fifteen year old boys around? If he was only 16, he could not have had his license that long. May other parents of teenagers pay attention to this tragedy and think twice about allowing their children to tool around in a sports car they simply don't have the maturity or skill to handle.


Imagine this: A world where a kid without you knowing brings home 2 other friends who begged him for a ride. How does a parent screen that? Did the other 2 kids parents know that as well? Are the other 2 kids parents at fault for not supervising who their kids go home with? Or even better: I have seen toyota corolas go as much as 80 mph!!! Seems to me like giving someone a ride without any parents knowing or a vehicle driven too fast regardless of engine size can easily occur. Should all unsupervised kids be given 2 stroke engines? That might open up more concerns like say what if they decide its funny to drive the 2 stroke engine off a cliff? Whos at fault then? So many questions....

[eds]

The criticisms presented here are not necessarily aimed at these parents. They are more intended for other parents reading this to take heed and to prevent this from happening to their kid.

Yes I am being harsh.I am not know for my diplomacy and tact. More so than others who post here but whom I am sure feel the same way. I was once a awful teenage driver. Broke every rule. Speeding, reckless endangerment, avoid red lights by cutting into gas stations, passing on double yellow lines, you name it. But I never got caught by the police. I passed my driving exam both parts, with a perfect score. I was a honors student, perfect grades. Yet when I got behind that wheel, felt that power, my little 16 year old brain just went south. I thought I was king of the road. If it wasn't for my parents taking the keys and my license, I'd be dead right now. They caught me driving like that because they were involved in my driving education and gave surprise driving tests. Oh sure, you would try to drive right when my parents were in the car, but some habits are hard to break. Minor infractions usually mean other more serious violations exist. So I lost my license and my keys. So I have a pretty unique perspective on this.



Imagine this: A world where a kid without you knowing brings home 2 other friends who begged him for a ride. How does a parent screen that? Did the other 2 kids parents know that as well? Are the other 2 kids parents at fault for not supervising who their kids go home with? Or even better: I have seen toyota corolas go as much as 80 mph!!! Seems to me like giving someone a ride without any parents knowing or a vehicle driven too fast regardless of engine size can easily occur. Should all unsupervised kids be given 2 stroke engines? That might open up more concerns like say what if they decide its funny to drive the 2 stroke engine off a cliff? Whos at fault then? So many questions....


Giving a ride without parents knowing and traveling too fast without parents knowing? If the parent was in the car maybe then they would know? Or how about installing a black box monitor? Its called teen driver tracking. They use them even with adults who drive company fleet vehicles. You can even install cameras in the car to make sure no one is riding with your kid.

http://www.rmtracking.com/teentracking.htmlhttp://forums.ctrecord.com/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=4214

You do as a parent whatever it takes! There is no excuse for not knowing. If that makes you the most hated and the most strict parent, then so be it. There was an accident recently where a speeding teenage driver clipped a boat and crashed into a box truck. The kid had infractions for speeding and a host other issues, his license was even suspended and the parents still let him drive when he got his license back. Now that teenage kid is dead, his passenger is dead, and other people were hurt. What about them? Whose giving condolences to them? How do you explain to someone else that your kid killed their kid? When will this pattern of behavior end and our children's lives respected? So many questions indeed...

Imagine this: A world where children are given the supervision and guidance they deserve and the commitment by their parents to protect them from themselves even if that means buying them bus fare rather then giving them the keys to their sports car? Mistakes happen I know. But at some point you need to think about prevention and if the mistake was really a mistake that was unavoidable. Yes parents should know every friend their kids have. Not knowing is no excuse. Yes parents are at fault for not supervising every single aspect of their children's lives. Every example you provide shows how the parents, in your example, have no idea what is going on in their own home. Who runs the house? Whose responsible. The kids or the parents? You said "without you knowing". Nobody comes in my house without me knowing about it.

I've heard parents say, "How do I monitor what my kids does?" Its called you make surprise visits, surprise room inspections, you call the parents of the kids they are supposed to be with. You take action. You are not their friend. You can be their friend when they are older and adults. When they are young children and teenagers, you are their parent. And sometimes that means you need to be the gestapo. The dictator. You do whatever it is you have to do. If you don't know what they are doing outside the house, its called house arrest. Don't know what they are doing in their room? Making bombs? You take the door off the hinges. The law only requires that you give your child a nutritious meal, a roof, and clothing. Privacy is not required by law to be provided. That was told to me by a certified DCF social worker.

Children are an extension of their parents. Yes they should be held responsible as well. But even though I am firm believer in personal responsibility, you can claim that when its your kid. Parents are equally responsible for their children's actions as the children are.



I am another cousin of George McLean. And, I have to admit, jumping to conclusions is easy to do. But, if you knew his parents, as I do, jumping to conclusions about his parents would not be a discussion. Here's an idea, a suggestion even: How about people use this posting forum to express condolense and sympathty, especially while our family, the Priore family, and Cajas family is grieving. Why? Well, because that would make you decent, number one. And 2, we all could use it. Please don't beat on George's parents, or in this case, my Aunt and Uncle. By the way, George's sister is grieving, too.


We have expressed our sympathies. But to not hold both the parent and the child accountable would do nothing to serve justice. The parent was the one who handed the keys to their kid, right. Isn't that true? Its not like the car was stolen, right? Did the driver meet the legal requirements for driving in the manner in which he did?

I am truly sorry for your loss, but this is not just some unfortunate accident. This could have been prevented with a little common sense. I am sorry this sounds so harsh, but these accidents happen all too often. Too many times kids like this are killed and all we do is express condolences without so much as a peep of criticism. Do you honestly believe there will be no criminal or civil liability for the wrongful death of the passenger? His death had contributory factors and could have been prevented. I would get a lawyer at this point.

[TimHorton]

Nicole, Lee, Dan, Don't waste your time on this site. Its obvious people here have other agenda. I could see his kids walking around with a baby monitor at age 17. His computer webcam is constantly watched by the parents at work etc. It goes on and on. No matter what safety nets we put up for kits, they find the hole. Don't feed into these people. Do you really think what your putting up here is pearls for us that are mourning. Snap out of your self loathing and unrealisitic world.:mad:

[eds]

You're real funny. This is no joking matter. Its serious enough to warrant strong responses. Is it unrealistic to protect our children? Why would you ridicule those who seek to protect their children with whatever means are necessary. No matter what safety nets they find the hole? So we should just give up, right? Is that what you are saying?

It's exactly this mentality I am trying to change. This mentality of there is nothing that we can do. That kids will be kids and oh well, we did our best. That is why kids are dying. That we just say "Sorry for your loss" and move on while this continues to happen over and over again. When will this stop!?

The number one cause of death of kids aged 16-20 is driving fatalities. We fight against underage drinking, against teen drug use and smoking, against STDs, we give them shots and immunize them against disease and against everything that can hurt our children. We protect them, we raise them right, do our best to make them decent people. Then we forget about driving. We assume they will just make the right decisions based upon years of hard work. Then why are driving fatalities the number one cause of death amongst young people. We fight against any inconvenient law that seeks to limit teenage driving because it inconveniences the parents.

This has to stop.

Taken from the teen tracking site I quoted earlier.

Sixteen- nineteen year olds have four times the crash rate per mile of all other drivers.
Teen accidents increase drastically when there are other teens in the car.
Teen drivers wear their seatbelts less than any other drivers.
2/3 of those who are killed in teen driving accidents are not teens themselves.
According to statistics, most fatally injured young drivers don't have prior traffic violations or crashes on their records.

I am sure all these statistics involve parents who are great parents, great children, and who do the right thing by the children. Then why? Why? Why? Can anyone tell me why our children are being placed into harms way? We fight and protest against our children being sent to a foreign country to die and yet we do nothing about these horrible statistics. We poke fun at parents who use these tracking devices as being "unrealistic" "self loathing". I can't believe you would even take that attitude.

When will it end?

[Lee Boi]

Eds-

Your logic has promise if not for being flawed. If we assume for a minute that your parents were the model or standard needed for prevention of teen death or at least the enforcement of responsibility, it does not account for all driving instances in which you may have been a danger to yourself/others as evidenced by the amount of times you can remember endangering yourself. Those few times you drove on your own could very well have been the window needed for you to round up some friends and hit a jump in the road at high speeds. The vehicle regardless of engine size Im betting could have reached high speeds. If you want to argue which size engine can take you quicker to a given speed in X time thus increasing probability for Y outcome then I cant argue, but like I said I once saw a toyota corrolla or even a ford festiva reach speeds as much as 80 MPH. In this situation without knowing the extent to which the parents active involvement was or was not present, it is foolish to assume that they were not involved since even you were once driving unsupervised. Which then lends itself to your fall back arguement that the parents are responsible as soon as the keys leave their possession. This sounds like a more viable topic if one is determined to find fault.

[eds]

Mine is not the logic that is flawed. I am so frustrated with people who are not taking this seriously enough and are offering excuses instead of placing the responsibility where it should be placed.

My unsupervised driving could have gotten someone killed and I was lucky it didn't. But this isn't about what my parents did or did not do. And to use that as justification for why this could not have been avoided is sad. It's the equivalent of saying, "Johnny's parents let him drive like an idiot, why can't I?" My point was that my parents took my keys and were very strict with driving privs. I didn't get to take my parents car out for spin when I felt like it.

Coming home from a birthday party? With 4 months experience driving, you don't get to drive to a party. The mentality at a party simply breeds recklessness. Youth's mind is still at the party when the party ends. Hmmm....showing up at a party with a fancy car probably did wonders for the ego. Watch how fast I can go! After the party, lets go riding! I wonder if there were any parents there at that party who noticed three teens leaving in a car in violation of the law? Maybe someone should have called 911 then instead of later on. I know the law says midnight to 5 am is the cutoff for night driving. But 10pm? That's still dark this time of year no matter if its 10pm or midnight. Why were these kids out in the dark? Teens do not have the wherewithal to drive in the dark. The speed limit is 30 on that road. When will this end? When?!

You keep bringing up this thing about the type of car. Let me tell you something. And I want you to listen real good. I don't really care if this was a Yugo running on two cylinders. I see too many young people taking POS Honda's and Accura's, putting who knows what kind of so-called "performance" mods to them, and driving like total a$$holes just waiting for someone to wrap themselves around a tree. And we wonder where the parents were.

Too many times we hear of young teens under the age of 18 doing who knows what in their room and their parents basement. And its always the same thing. The parents just say "I had no idea my son/daughter was doing that in my home" and the proceed to blame everything else.

Remember a while back, that kid coming down Mackensie Ave who took his bicycle out for a spin into traffic and was killed. For years I keep seeing this shrine on the wall near the sidewalk. Did the parents do their job? Hell no. And that has to stop. So it doesn't even have to have a motor. I am talking about parents reigning their children in and keeping them under a little more strict supervision.

That kid, George, with all of 4 months of driving experience under his belt, and maybe 6 months on his learners permit, should NEVER have been thrown the keys to ANY car without the parents being in the car with him. Period. The only good thing was he didn't kill more people.

The law should say that you don't get a driving license until age 21 period. But in lieu of that the more restrictions the better. Restrict the hell out of these kids because it will save their lives.

But you know what. This is obviously wasted writing. I don't know how many ways I can beat this dead horse until people wake up and realize they can prevent these tragic accidents. This won't stop until parents do as my "little pearls" here are suggesting. So any parents reading this, if you have kids and want them to live. Take heed. Before its too late.

[leherissierm]

I agree that parents should be more responsible for their children, but I also know that young adults have their own minds too. I remember being in high school and wanting to show off my hand-me-down car and do things that my parents would have disapproved of. I honestly dont think anything my parents could have said to me would have changed my decisions.
Unfortuantely, it probably would have taken a serious accident to really make me think and grow up. Now that I am older, I can see why the driving age should be raised and more educational classses should be required. As much of a tragedy as this accident was, hopefully it will make an impact with other teenagers and really make them realize that driving can be dangerous and requires responsibility.

I lost a friend in a motorcycle accident a few years ago, and I know how it feels to loose a sibling ( I lost two)...so I truly offer my thoughts and condolences to the people who lost loved ones. My hope is that no more needless accidents and deaths take place, because it is truly a heart-wrenching experience to all involved.

[eds]

I honestly dont think anything my parents could have said to me would have changed my decisions.
Unfortuantely, it probably would have taken a serious accident to really make me think and grow up. Now that I am older, I can see why the driving age should be raised and more educational classses should be required.

I agree. That is why drinking age was raised to 21 because it was deemed people are not responsible with alcohol at lower ages. To rent a car you need to be 25. To be u.s. president you need to be 35, to be a u.s. senator you need to be 30, and to be a u.s. representative you need to be 25.

You cannot transfer a handgun to anyone under age 21 (CGS § 29-34(b)). For firearms permits you need to be at least age 21 (CGS §§ 29-28 and 29-36f).

Obviously there are some things in this world that require the participant to be a certain age for maturity reasons regardless of whether the person has reached the age of majority, 18. Driving should be considered as lethal as a handgun and licenses not given until age 21, just like for firearms.

And I agree. Learn from this mistake. Please don't repeat it.

[Len]

My cousin is George McLean. This was his father's car that he borrowed. Haven't you ever borrowed your parents car, whatever style it was? He had no idea this would happen.:(

My deepest condolences to you phunkyb. Everyone has their opinion. Unfortunately, some people are just ignorant.

[Len]

[QUOTE=eds]Teens should buy their own car and pay their own insurance. And the parents should not be afraid to take it away from them...

Your words are rather harsh for someone who does not even know the family. In our difficulty to understand such tragedies, we sometimes place blame. It's easy to look back and say what should have (or should not have) been done. As a parent, I can say that we all like to think we can trust our children (whether we are wealthy or not-so-wealthy) until they give us a reason not to. And then we punish them (ground them, take the keys away, cell phone... whatever) until they prove to us again that they are trustworthy. Trusting their son does not make the McLeans bad people. What happened does not make George McLean a bad person. Sometimes good people make bad decisions/choices. We have all, at some point in our lives, made at least one bad decision/choice. I know I've made many. Fortunately, I've had more chances. This young man, sadly, has no second chance.

[Len]

I am another cousin of George McLean. How about people use this posting forum to express condolense and sympathty, especially while our family, the Priore family, and Cajas family is grieving. Why? Well, because that would make you decent, number one. And 2, we all could use it. Please don't beat on George's parents, or in this case, my Aunt and Uncle. By the way, George's sister is grieving, too.


Because people are ignorant and it makes them feel better about themselves to voice their one-sided, self-righteous opinion. Your family and the others would probably be better off not reading any of these posts. In all reality (I am parent of a 16 year old) this could happen to any one of us at any time. My deepest sympathy to your and your family, the Priore family and the Cajas family and all of their friends who are grieving.

[Len]

[QUOTE=eds]You're real funny. This is no joking matter. Its serious enough to warrant strong responses. Is it unrealistic to protect our children? Why would you ridicule those who seek to protect their children with whatever means are necessary. No matter what safety nets they find the hole? So we should just give up, right? Is that what you are saying?

If you feel so strongly, why don't you spend your time calling and writing your state representative and senator... maybe personally lobby Congress since you have all this free time rather than sit home on your butt spending all your time insulting the family in this blog. If you are a parent, you need to know that this could happen to any one of us at any time. If you're not a parent, you have no right to voice your opinion about parenting. So, get off your computer and start writing letters and making phone calls to get the laws changed. DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE.

[bike man]

I feel for the parents of these children and as I said before I don't know them. If there are friends or relatives on this board you and the family has mine among their many condolences.
Their tradegy however should not stop people from expressing their opinions. Isn't is advisable to look at any tradgedy and analyze it for ways to prevent similar incidents in the future. Also it seems to me there have been no attacks on the Mcleans personally ,only opinions expressed about how parents and people in general should behave.

Finally, I think the fact that I(or other posters) have no children does not revoke my right to an opinion. Because I've never been a soldier I should have no opinion on war? Should I avoid criticizing the government because I have never been elected? The greatest insight may come from someone outside of the situation that needs to changed.

[jma]

Len, why call me ignorant because I question the wisdom of someone so young operating a sports car? Isn't it wise to look at a tradgedy and learn something from it? Perhaps it's more ignorant to think that just because you know someone, they must be fault-free. I'm not trying to make it harder on the family. I don't think anything we say can hurt them more than the loss of their son. I'm trying to open dialogue, in order to PREVENT someone from making the same mistake.

[eds]

Hey Len, in case you didn't know, ignorant is giving the keys to your car to a kid with 4 months driving experience and saying "go have fun at the party". Do you honestly believe there wouldn't be peer pressure to show off that car? Do you have any idea what 16 year old boys do?

I was a parent. My kid's dead. Enjoy the one you have. I never got to see my kid grow up to be 16. Do you know what that is like? Maybe that's why I am so adamant about this. That's all I am going to say about my situation. If that doesn't qualify me in your mind, well...

I get real upset when kids die. In many ways children are very ignorant when it comes to driving. They can do great in all area of their lives but you get them behind that wheel, they feel that power, and BAM! It's over. That's why, like I said, some things in life are left to when you reach an even older age than 16 or even 18.

I know you want to be a hero, and stick up for the parents and all. I applaud that. They deserve that much. But I said I was sorry about their loss. But that's not where this ends. Can you honestly think what the they did was right? That they are blameless in all this? I insulted the family? I don't see how. By pointing out a mistake? That's not insulting. That's calling the cards like they are.

I am sorry. I am sorry this happened just like anyone else. But I am pointing out the mistake so others don't repeat it. It's not like this is the first time this happened.

Len, you make it sound like this is some random, unavoidable, nothing we can do about scenario. That's ignorant if you ask me. You raise your kid the way you want to. You are the parent of one kid whose 16. Girl or boy?

You sound like an expert with raising children. So enlighten me, what would you have done differently? Nothing? You see nothing wrong with what happened? You're a doomed to repeat the same mistake if you can't realize this could have been prevented. Trust has nothing to do with driving skill or mental acuity.

You want me to get off my computer? Write letters? Sure. I am doing just that. But let me ask you something, what have you done to prevent this from happening to your kid? To someone else's kid? What are you doing to change the fact that driving is the leading cause of death among 16-19 year olds?

[Len]

[QUOTE=eds]Hey Len, in case you didn't know, ignorant is giving the keys to your car to a kid with 4 months driving experience and saying "go have fun at the party". Do you honestly believe there wouldn't be peer pressure to show off that car? Do you have any idea what 16 year old boys do?

I'm sorry your child is dead. Now I understand your anger... I'm just saying, as hard as we try to protect our children, this could happen to any one of us. And I just think that your time could be better spent writing to people who can actually do something to change things (such as toughen the laws, raise the driving age, etc.) instead of venting in a blog and hurting people who are already hurting.

[jma]

I don't think anyone in this forum had the intention of being insensitive to the parents who lost their children. Perhaps because we are emotionally removed from the situation, we have a different insight. I'm not trying to throw stones at the parents, or criticize their parenting. God knows how I survived my childhood. I raced cars, I was reckless, and did everything my parents told me not to do. I had a stay-at-home mom who went through my book bag, confirmed my plans with other parents, and did everything she could to keep me in line. Dad was there to draw the line, too. I still got away with stuff. No parent has a crystal ball. All we're are saying is kids will be kids, no matter what their grades are, and no matter how polite they are. I grew up, and shocked my parents by thanking them for being as strict as they were. If they gave an inch, I probably wouldn't be here.

[eds]

jma, same here. Very strict because I would try to find any loophole I could to get away with things. I was in trouble a lot as a kid both with the school system, parents, and the law. Fortunately none of that affected my record permanently or got me killed. My parents had their hands full and there wasn't the technology available to us like there is today. But then again, the culture and society have changed in the last 20-30 years. As children we didn't have the influences we have today. Parents today need to be more vigilant against outside influences that children may not understand how to handle. Its not the video games, TV programs and things like that in and of themselves. Its the children's understanding, interpretations, and mimicking of that behavior that parents need to control today.

len, I know what you are saying and I agree with that in certain cases. Yes there is only so much you can do and then you have to let go and realize it's in G-d's hands now. I know that very well.

len, I am not using these forums to vent. I want people to appreciate the children they have. Parents can never be their children's pals, the age difference is to great. Parents are there to be the one in charge. The responsible party. Like I said, there are situations where there is truly nothing you can do, but they usually involve the words inoperable or indictment.

I liken this to teen suicide. The parents in those cases usually say "I had no idea". There are organizations out there that teach parents to see the signs of this before hand and get help. There are similar signs to poor driving behaviors. Risk taking. Attitudes. Responsible behavior in other areas. These are all signs to poor driving. What signs were missed in this situation that would have prevented this? I don't know exactly, but I can guarantee they were there.

Many children have not been caught making bombs in their parents basements all without the knowledge of their parents. How can parents miss these signs? Like jma said. His parents inspected his school bag etc.

Every car that is used by teens should have installed monitoring equipment which has been shown to be an effective deterrent. When a teen knows someone will be watching they usually behave. That's what I'm talking about. Do everything you can to protect your kids even if it seems authoritarian.

I use these forums to have conversations with the community. To raise community awareness. This thread alone has over 1200 views the last time I looked. That's unique views because I know the code to this board very well. Over 1200 unique people have seen what has been written here. No amount of letter writing could accomplish that. Some of the people here who read these words will throw their hands up in disgust. Say there was nothing that could be done and no amount of new laws could prevent this. Others may decide to pay a little more attention to their teen. Many letters to the editor have said as much.